Smart Phone, Idiot User

I havesmart phone a smart phone. It’s actually a pretty stupid smart phone compared to what other folks have. Unfortunately, it has an idiot  user. I swipe the screen and nothing happens or I swipe and wind up in strange places. I make phone calls on it, or text friends, and sometimes I even answer it. By the time I’ve heard the ringing and fish it from my pocket or purse, it’s flipped into the you-missed-the-call mode and jingles for several minutes. Very annoying! And why is that jingle louder than the incoming call ring? And why does it last three times longer? And why does it take me ninety seconds to make a phone call, but it will pocket dial someone in less than a split second?

It used to be that these phones were getting smaller and now they seem to be getting larger. I’m seriously thrilled that people are reading my books on their phones! So I won’t complain too much, but I really don’t want to carry some big clunky thing around with me.

Those little earpieces are fun. If I could only figure out how mine works. My daughter gave it to me. I have no clue how answer the phone using it or how to end a phone call. If I get it working, it’s a miracle. There are only two buttons on it. These new devices are not for techno-challenged people.

Honestly, I’m friendly. If you pass me in the aisle of the grocery store and say Hi, how are you doing? I’m going to respond and answer you! Except they aren’t talking to me, they are talking to that thing in their ear. Can’t these people go to the grocery story without gossiping the entire time? And why must they do it at the top of their lungs? We really don’t care if your boyfriend is sleeping with your cousin. If he is, then why is he still your boyfriend? Dump that jerk!

Yes, I understand someone calling home to say that the Progressive soup that’s on the grocery list isn’t in stock and would another brand do. Sorry, Progressive, that happens to all of us and it’s not just Progressive, it could be a favorite brand of dog food. I’m a fanatic when it comes to food. If I’ve listed Progressive I want Progressive, and not Campbell’s. If I say Campbell’s – that’s what I want! But most of the conversations I hear at the grocery store should not be made public.

I love watching people at restaurants. A young couple sits there and instead of talking, they are texting or playing games the entire time. Is that a date? Mom takes her eight year-old-son out for dinner and spends the entire time chatting on her phone or texting. She never once asked her son how his school day was or if his homework is done. She never even asked him what he wanted to eat. He told the waitress when she came to the table. What happened to talking to the people you are with?

And if you are the cashier, put that darn thing away! Your job is to ring up my purchases and not talk to your boyfriend. It’s rude.

For now, I’m a hybrid phone user. I still have my landline and I have a cell phone. And if I’m busy writing, I won’t answer either one. And the cell phone might be in my coat pocket, which is in thcoffee cupe closet in the other room. I’ll eventually discover that you called.

I take my phone with me because it’s a safety net. If I break down, I can call for help. I’ve even used it locate a friend when we’ve gone shopping together but gotten separated. But unless it’s a dire emergency, I’m not going to talk to you while I’m shopping. If you didn’t reach me at home on my landline, I’m out. Want to meet me at Starbucks? Surely, give me a call!



4 Responses to Smart Phone, Idiot User

  1. Missy Lou says:

    Oh, Elizabeth you are not alone! I too have a landline and a cell phone! And like you the cell is only for emergency usage! In fact, mine is only turned on when I need to make a call or am expecting one. Just yesterday, my youngest daughter fixed it so I can talk while driving as my new vehicle has Bluetooth–whatever that is! People texting or talking while driving is one of my pet peeves so the likelihood of my using the phone while driving is apt to be minus zero to the trillionth degree!—I don’t think my cell will do texting whixh is just as well because I don’t either!


    • E. Ayers says:

      Several years ago when I went to get a phone I told my daughter I needed the full keyboard. She couldn’t imagine why I wanted a full keyboard on my phone. Simple, I had granddaughters and they used texting.

      I’m up for learning new things but will someone please show me? We’re just supposed to manage with these new things and figure them out without help?

      And as for the touch screen…something is wrong with me. It’s not unusual for me to walk up to automatic doors and have them not open. They don’t see me! I can swipe that screen and nothing happens. 😦


  2. woolfcindy says:

    I’m a hybrid too. We have a land line and Jim and I both have cell phones. When I’m home I use the land line and I expect people to call me there, not on my cell phone which is usually in my purse and I can’t hear it.


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