Jealousy. Everyone experiences it. Sometimes it’s twinge. That feeling you get when your best friend’s baby says Da-da at eight months, and your baby is almost a year and hasn’t even begun to make sounds that you can attribute to anything. And sometimes that green rage is huge, such as when you discover that the idiot you work with is making more money than you are and hasn’t been there as long.
But what is normal?
It’s all rather normal. Unless it really interferes with your life. I have no clue why some people never seem to get jealous over anything. It must have something to do with their outlook on life. If jealousy is ruining your relationship with everyone, you might want to think about getting help. But if you come home from work ranting, then start reading the classified ads, and updating your resume – that little green monster probably isn’t a bad thing.
I’d say I’m not a jealous person. I never worried where my husband was or what he was doing. (There were no cell phones way back when.) If he was late for dinner, he had a perfectly good reason. If he was really late, I got worried because I knew something was very wrong. Yes, I had one of those nights and it wasn’t a flat tire. In the end, he was fine, and cars can be replaced.
But when you struggle to make something happen and it doesn’t, and then you watch while someone else has great success with no effort…that little green monster will rise. I tend to think it’s rather normal. Maybe it helps us to try harder or even re-evaluate what we’re trying to accomplish. Work smarter not harder?
So when my friends in Florida tell me it’s warm and sunny, and how they spent the day at the pool or beach, and I’m dying of cold, I envy them. And when another friend sends pictures of a beautiful sunset from her high-rise condo over looking a park in the middle of the city, I get a little green. Or another friend sends photos of her beautiful old house and barn and the snow has covered everything including the trees until the place is a total fairyland. Yep, I glow a little. I glow a little greener when a friend takes off on vacation to some wonderful island and stays in a five-star resort.
But I really do not want to trade lives with any of my friends. Somehow through pictures and words I get to feel that breeze, share the laughter, and vicariously experience their success. But since they are friends, I also share their grief, sadness, and anger. Then I go back to my boring life.
It might be boring, but it’s mine. I’m comfortable with it. Not always happy with it, but it’s what it is. I have my own dreams and plans to turn those dreams into reality. I know what I’m striving for and with luck, I’ll make it. I get angry when things don’t go the way they should, I get depressed and tired of the constant struggling, and then I realize that I have so much and I’m so grateful for what I do have. My problems are small and I’ll probably never go to certain places, but I love the photos, and I love to see my friends doing things that they enjoy.
So if I get too many limes, I’m going to fix drinks and invite some friends. Then I’ll beg my friend to make her margarita pie which takes a bucket load of limes, has a pretzel crust, and is heavenly! Yeah! It’s five o’clock someplace, right?
What do you do when the green glow comes out?